The summer of 2009 was by far one of the best times of my life. I was going out constantly, had great friends, and was hanging around alot with a cute boy that I really liked. Life was just amazing, and going my way. It wouldn't last for too long.
But it continued into the school year, when I had good classes (with friends!), Good grades (Straight A's in my AP classes), even ending up with a boyfriend. I saw my "bff''s" all the time and I was just so happy. But then winter came. I got dumped, it was a complete shock, and I was crushed. (particularly when my ex started dating someone else so quickly after the break up). I had really liked him. But, those bff's were there and comforted me when I was crying over this guy. I had a good birthday. But then I started seeing those friends less and less. I couldn't make it to their youth group every Wednesday, and they both had boyfriends, who were friends with each other. But I still saw them every day at school. Things were ok, but then we started to drift some more. They were on the dock, but I was on the raft tied up to some pylons. The rope was still in tact though, so I thought everything was fine.
But then the the slack started to pull tight, and I felt so disconnected from them. I was hearing about how much fun they had doing this or that and this one thing or another. I was never invited. My invitations were ignored. But I still saw the dock, and the rope was still there, So I kept telling myself it was nothing.
Soon though, I was getting fed up. Don't tell me what you did without me, unless you invite me. They were being pretty nasty towards some of our other "friends" and kept making jokes even when they were asked to stop. I was so fed up. The rope was fraying at both ends by this point. Finally, after a disaster of a pre-prom with them (Told changes at the last minute, told we were eating at home, left out of pretty much everything) that led to tears and me almost not going, and a group project that i felt so ignored in, I knew I had to say something more. I had to be kind of mean. And that's not something I do. But I was sure of it, I was getting tired of being an extra in their soap opera. It was like I went from being a lead to just a face in the crowd.
Then one night, a mutual friend had a bonfire at her house. Of course, the two Bff's showed up late with their boyfriends. Shortly after, they walked off, far away from the rest of the crowds. So I texted one, the girl I was closer to. It said something like "Why are you guys off alone AGAIN? Aren't you here to be with your other friends?" And apparently, those were fighting words. The other one, who I hadn't texted came charging over to where I was, some friends who were sick of their behavior too, as well as a few others they weren't close with. But she started yelling at me, talking about how another friend was really upset and they were comforting her (and while the three of them were still known to be clique-y, I hadn't noticed her). And I said that I was sorry that I picked the one time that there was a legitimate reason for you to be off on your own, but when it happens all the time what was I supposed to do? I tried to stay calm and explain myself, but she kept yelling and bitching me out. So I got upset, raised my voice, and brought up all the things that had been bothering me for months. So then, there really wasn't a drift, or a fraying of the rope. It was like I'd dumped a ton of chum into the water and and jaws came up and ate the rope.
After that, I only spoke to the two of them when necessary. It was ok during the summer, because the only times i really had to deal with seeing them was when their names came up on my newsfeed or I passed the house of the one I was closer to when I left the house. But when I got back to school, it got hard again. I had to see the two of them in the hall everyday, being so bestest friend-y that it was hard to take. Not only that, but they were in one of my classes, and I had to sit near them. They also took the attention of our other friends in that class-- thank goodness I only had to do that for a week.
Now, I have found a real best friend, one who actually treats me well. She's become a sister to me, something that had never happened with my supposed "Best" friends before her. She's kept me sane, and helped me with my depression-- I'll talk about that later. I help her too, and it's just a great relationship. I hear that my old best friend, the girl who I was closer to, is drifting from the other one. I've realized that i never even liked her that much, that she was just my friend because of the other one. And while i do hope the one is ok, i feel like karma is coming to get her. But it is really sad. Her grandpa just died, and since my mom is still close with hers, she told me that i needed to go to the viewing. And I did, though I felt kinda awkward, it also felt right. I found out later that none of her friends, no one from school, had even come. I thought that was so sad. So maybe, even though we haven't been friends, we can get back to that again. Not best friends, but friends none the less
No comments:
Post a Comment